Being defeated

In the last couple of days, I felt being defeated. I was diagnosed to have gestational diabetes. I dont feel like cooking any more. Friends called asking why we haven't have a house warming, if we plan to have a baby shower...I dont felt doing any of these... I was defeated like a balloon losing its air.

But, so what?

When we were worshiping yesterday morning, I felt like the holy spirit gives me a dose of anti-depressant. God gives me strength to stare at the difficulties in the eyes, laugh at them and wipe them away.

So what! I am weak, but I live on the strength given from God.

What kind of old lady would you like to become?

One day I asked myself this question. What would I want my son, grandson and great grandson remember me for?

The answer lies in what you remember your mom and grandma for? Their food, career, presents, time with you?

Why?

Being trained as a scientist, keep challenging everything by asking why. In scientific meetings or big company internal technical reviews, if you challenge the speaker at the right time" Do you know why?" You will earn respect from speakers and fellow audience.

But not in real life. Keep asking God why this happens to me? Why I can not live the life the way I wanted? God wants to give me the best? But why can't I just get away from this difficulty live an average life as others?

Noah's ark story is familiar to every one. Every family died but only Noah's family survived. Throughout the story recited in the bible, Noah obeyed God and did not ask a single "why" at all.

Who is smarter?

Faith: round 1

When I was a new believer, I found myself went through the following steps:

1. I asked God for something. It really happened. "Is this really because of God? or just a coincidence?" Giving God the credit for what He did--Step 1.

2. I asked God for something. Nothing happened. I had to wait. I began to wondering.
But still believes in God will help me on it---Step 2.

3. I asked God for something. Negative indicators showed up. "Where is God?"
But still believes in God will give me what I ask for.---Step 3.

God has given me what I had asked for through steps 1-3, so that was a happy experience. But one day I realized, God is not a waitress or waiter taking orders in the restaurant. Once we give out our requests, they go fetch what we ordered. In addition, life is not a menu...

Walked for 30 years

My mentor, who has retired and replanted to the west coast, recently went back to NY, met his old walking partner at their usual spot and walked again, as they have done in the past 30yrs during lunch hours.

This greatly touched me.

I have a walking partner too. We met at the most difficult times on in both our lives. There are a great deal of uncertainty in our lives ahead...

Maybe I should make appointment with her to meet in 30 yrs, to see how God leads our lives.

Is there such thing called "fate"?

A close friend of ours often had great stock options from his jobs. If he had cashed out those options at the right time, or even half of what is given, he could basically afford anything in this life and not have to work. But he did not. Whenever he brought this topic up, he concluded with a big sigh "this is fate!"

I had another friend. She can get into high profile companies but twice in a row but she got into trouble with her managers. "Why I just can't learn? Or this is just fate?"

I found myself get into troubles which are reoccurring. Is there really a thing called "fate"?

We often pray that God knows us before we were conceived. God has great plans for us. What does this mean? God has already programmed our lives with great detail and accuracy?

"Jeremiah 18

At the Potter's House

1 This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD : 2 "Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message." 3 So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. 4 But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.
5 Then the word of the LORD came to me: 6 "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?" declares the LORD. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. 7 If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, 8 and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. 9 And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, 10 and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it."


Life is an inactive process with God.

You are your attitude

A single most significant decision you can make on a DAY-to-DAY basis is choice of your attitude.

Attitude is that one thing that keeps you going or crippled. It alone can fuel your passion and fire or stab, assault your heart.

Positive attitude and the choice of be happy is not a simple mind game because we have true hope in the Jesus Christ. This hope is not empty.

My Son

Ever since I become pregnant, I started to ask around for reusable baby items, stocking up diapers. I made a list of things we need for baby under 6 months.

Yesterday at church, the mom next to me save two seats. After the worship started, two big sons, a head taller than us, squeezed in. As they are passing in front of me, I heard a voice"your son will be as tall as they are."

"What?" I am frozen.

I can't stop peek at them during the service. The mom is holding one hands of the sons when they prayed together...

I can predict just what today or tomorrow contains. I can get prepared for my son, but maybe only 6 month ahead. But God looks at 20 years ahead. What I need/want the most, a family bounded in God's divine love...